I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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