Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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