You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
