I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
