The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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