i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
