Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
