If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
