it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
