i permit you to call me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
