The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
