I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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