Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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