you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You were trust falling into bushes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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