super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
