is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
