it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me