I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?