Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2125) Bad night (2505)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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(651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. http://tfl.nu/i2sm

Replies (33) Good night (6602) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Redeem this text for a blowjob

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(507): Redeem this text for a blowjob http://tfl.nu/3lns

Replies (45) Good night (18452) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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(931): a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra. http://tfl.nu/ga1u

Replies (68) Good night (27434) Bad night (1643)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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(717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl

Replies (13) Good night (3702) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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(662): neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe http://tfl.nu/zrqw

Replies (7) Good night (4341) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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(817): maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me. http://tfl.nu/m7oc

Replies (14) Good night (4857) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

Replies (27) Good night (1022) Bad night (11113)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

What happened to him?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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(501): What happened to him? (1-501): He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum http://tfl.nu/owcl

Replies (4) Good night (3909) Bad night (580)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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(919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if

Replies (14) Good night (4113) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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(253): View more from Washington

The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid

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(253): The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid http://tfl.nu/62ef

Replies (23) Good night (4461) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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(770): How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden http://tfl.nu/1f55

Replies (10) Good night (3753) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla

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(805): Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla http://tfl.nu/wlr8

Replies (9) Good night (1992) Bad night (812)
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(530): View more from California

We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.

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(530): We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security. http://tfl.nu/p79e

Replies (3) Good night (2034) Bad night (510)
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(897): View more from

i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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(897): i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight. http://tfl.nu/elh4

Replies (8) Good night (686) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

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