Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.