I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
