Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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