She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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