I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
