3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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