her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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