im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize