her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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