I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize