so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
