He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
