Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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