dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
