dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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