I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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