we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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