how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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