guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
