No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
