insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
