did you get engaged???
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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