apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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