after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
