your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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