dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
