I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
