my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
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I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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