i don't like sucking hair
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
