I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
