my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
