i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
