Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
