Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
