there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.