It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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