wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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