ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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