Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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